To reinforce a recurring theme on Things I’m Thinking, I am a dreamer.
Figuratively, as seen here. And literally, as documented below.
I’ve always been prone to dreaming while I’m asleep. Maybe because I don’t believe in not eating after 9pm. Maybe because I have the uncontrollable subconscious of any kind of writer. Maybe (hopefully) because Leonardo DiCaprio is running around in my head with a team full of mind-sculpters, shooting for Inception 2 as we speak.
I don’t know why I dream at night, but I do.
Lately, I have had a lot of dreams about being chased. Four times in two weeks. The details are always different – sometimes I’m pretty normal, once I was a private eye, this morning I was a cheetah – but there are certain significant factors that continue to remain the same:
I’m always wittier, more strategic, and more intentional than my assailant.
I’m determined to get away, but I’m not exactly scared.
I have yet to actually get caught.
So because I am a proponent of modern medicine in all of its glory, I decided to consult a specialist (Google) about what my dreams could possibly mean.
Pretty much every dream-expert that has learned how to optimize against Google’s search algorithm informed me that dreams about being chased are usually about you trying to avoid a person or emotion in your real life. Which, ok, whatever. But I was not ok with this explanation. If I have been nothing else in 2018, I have been incredibly aware of myself. I have grown more emotionally and psychologically in these past eight months than I have in my entire life. In fact, the only evolutionary accomplishment of mine that might trump what I’ve done in 2018 is the fact that, at some point a bunch of years ago, I developed motor skills. But that’s it. Motor skills: One. 2018: Two. I’m so zen with the freaking universe right now I could melt.
So I was not feeling that dream interpretation.
I’ve decided that dream interpretation was wrong.
And, now, I’ve reinterpreted it.
I kind of feel like these chase dreams are not about running away from something. I think they are about running towards something. Something good. Otherwise, why would I be so determined to get there?
And the series of different dream-characters on my tail? I think they probably do represent subconscious feelings. Insecurities I’ve worked really hard this year to move past. Pressures I’ve worked to overcome. The kind of thoughts that hold you back, slow you down, make you second-guess. I think those are the things that are chasing me. Because even though I’ve grown A LOT, I don’t think you can ever grow to the point of unbecoming who you’ve been. There’s always gonna be a little part of that. Somewhere. In my case, in chase dreams.
But the thing is, I never get caught. I out run my chasers every single time. Because in real life, I’m not getting caught anymore, either. I’m moving forward. And even if your sense of direction sucks, I promise you forward is always a good way to be going.
So I guess my point here is two-fold. First off: Google is perfect and believe everything it ever tells you except for when you don’t want to. Reinterpret whenever you very well please. And then live bravely and confidently in that reinterpretation, and believe in it because it’s yours.
And, second off: don’t be afraid to run (I can only speak to this figuratively; literally, I’m more of a walker or stairmaster girl, but work with me). Metaphorically, we give running this awful connotation. Like we’re scared of something. Like we’re avoiding something. Like we’re trying to get away from something. We don’t only run from. We run to. And the more you run towards the things you want, the dreams you have, the hopes you won’t let go of…well, the faster you’ll reach them.
Because that’s just math. (Or maybe physics?)
Whatever it is, it’s true ❤
Happy running, dreamers!